So much for your wanting to change. So much fpr your wanting to control your anger. So much for controlling your ego. I guess its all just words huh? Well, you know what? We shldnt have patched. Why? Because it happens that youre becoming more sensitive to what i have to say, never trying to accept them. I knew you could move on with your life without me. But its just that youre uncomfortable with my absence right. Thats the reason why youve been posting and blogging all those emo stuffs. I shld have known better. You COULD live WITHOUT me. I know. Haiz. 

Wednesday, 25 September 2013

I just dont understand..

- why girls reject boys compliments when they themselves, wishes for someone to compliment them when they are at the lowest.

- why girls get mad over a compliment.

- why girls like to compare the present and the past.

- why girls gets mad when their boyfriends are sad or disappointed.

- why girls dont even bother to comfort their boyfriends when they are disappointed.

- why girls tend to always believe that they are always at fault.

- why girls tend to be so close with their friends and prioritize them more than their love ones.

- why girls tend to be so paranoid and insecure over little things like their voice, when God made them perfect as in like - no disabilities or special needs etc.

- why girls, tend to be so lovey dovey on social sites but when personal text, they tend to give cold shoulders with short replies and so forth.

- why girls cant understand that their boyfriend meant every word they say when he compliments her,
i.e " You`re beautiful ."

- why girls cant accept themselves for who they are and not be oh so worried over their flaws. Like Hello, everyone has them.

- why girls likes to make boys jealous, by saying other men or boys are sexy, handsome, cute etc?

- why girls bother about other boys when she is already attached.

- why girls like to keep things to themselves.

- why girls dont give their boyf much attention.

- why girls are so busy with girl friends dates but no time to meet their boyfriend.

- why girls complain , when we give too much care, and also complain, when we give none?

- why girls get the easy way out by blaming everything on moodswing, so boys dont have moodswing too?

- why girls just dont understand their boyfriends, when he gave everything for her  just for her to be happy but she gives once in a blue moon, yet he doesnt mind.

The list can goes on and on, but i like to know,

why girls just cant do what their boyfriend do? To give attention, care, love time, etc. Why they expect much from their boyf but they give their boyf nothing in return?

Yeah. Everything is my fault. My fault that i compliment her and she rejected it. My fault that i feel dissappointed when it seems , she didnt trust me. My fault that she gets angry for no reason just because im dissappointed. My fault that she decided to blame everything on her. My fault that , i only wanted her to be happy with the compliments, but instead she cry for dont know God knows why. My fault that, i tried to tell her she is beautiful, but she reject, but infact she is. My fault that she doesnt see herself through the eyes i have and see what i see - a beautiful angel? My fault that she aint replying me now. My fault that, im looking bad at the past and see how our r/s have changed over the past few months.My fault knowing that she like another guy in our 6th months. My fault that my trust in her isnt that much because of all the past mistakes she did. My fault i gave her a second chance and thought she will change to treat me better? My fault i called her every night when she is sad, or crying but she does nothing when im at my lowest? Yeah. Everything is mine.

No wonder, they say fairy tales doesn't exist in reality. There wont be a - " And they live happily ever after" ending if this happens every night. Whatever it is, i still love you and im sorry for everything , and sorry to myself, for giving her countless chances for her to change , but she never did. Still think negatively, Still giving short replies, Still thinking about herself always, Still prioritizing her friends more than me ( she calls her friends when her friends cry but never , when it comes to me ) and im sorry to let you go. I will give you another chance only if this time, you meant what you say - to change for the better and to prove to me she love me dearly by giving attention, care, concern, love by the simplest way she can ( asking how did his day went etc), but if you cant promise me that, i will still be right here waiting..

Tuesday, 3 September 2013

I am utterly pissed after finding out that baby is talking to some dude online, in instagram.
The best thing of all is she doesn't even know the guy.
I mean, its not that I dislike her to socialise. But this, this is just over the limit. I meant like, the guy stalks her, and she even talks about the guy`s hair on the picture. How do I know?
Well, what can I say, its ironic huh, she says I cant follow any girls on instagram, and she can. Her pathetic excuse? Oh . He followed me first.

\Well done baby. To me, the excuse is like, after I went home from home, just about to think im gonna spent good time with my wife, by going lunch/dinner, reach home, found her in bed with another man, and her excuse be like, oh, he kissed me first. That's the way I see things, if she can tell me this, what else can she do.

Then again, who am I. Im just another faithful boyfriend to her, but she? just words. No actions. Her second anniversary resolution: To be faithful to me. Guess, its all changed now , huh.

What I didn't understand was, they talked yesterday, which was like weird. Because yesterday she texted me saying she wanted to go nenek house to take care of puteri. She said that she wont be texting me and im fine with that. SO.. today she came over my house. Studied abit and what not. Check her pone, it says there, 1 day ago, they were talking. Well, ISNT SHE BUSY. Yet she can still have the cheek to say, that she was bored and she had no one to talk to as I was busy. IM BUSY? I AM BUSY?! HELLO. YOU THE ONE WHO SAID, YOU WERE BUSY, AND SAID YOU WONT BE TEXTING ME. THEN TODAY YOU SAID IM BUSY?

Well done baby. I should be studying for tomorrow paper, but no. Too angry to even cant conct on my studies. Fuck hell. Thanks for hearing my rant tho. Gtg,

Goodnight.

Thursday, 23 May 2013

Monday, 20 May 2013

Hiee penguin. Bunny hereee. Yeahh. Well, its a post im doing in months. Didnt manage to update it either. 


How are me and bhy? We're drifting. Im not blaming him. Im blaming myself too. Because we're both busy. Frankly said, i feel that our r/s are at the bottom. I dont know what elae to say. But at times, i've been having this thought. 'Did a made yhe right decision of having a bgr at this point of time?' Its really been bugging me. Gahh. Maybe its just my feelings? Maybe... Just maybe. I dont know. Im clueless. For bhy, i guess it doesnt affect him much. But yeahh. For a super sensitive person like me, you'd understand. 


There's lot more to say. But i shall just stop here. Just a short post will do i guess. Gahhh. 

Saturday, 30 March 2013

Our first camwhoring session :') with my bbhy. Where ? At Gardens By The Bay ! Hahahahaha. Thanks to baby that i managed to see how it was like. Hehe. Quality time spent theree. I love it so muchh. Why ? Because its the two of us only. Hehe. That day was my happiest day ^^. We met at NP then off to luncch. Hehe. Then adter tht we webt to bayfrobt abd walked all the way to the entrabce. It was so hot ! We both were sweating. Bought our tix , and we went to the flower section ! Ok, i forgot what its called. Its cooling in there. Hahaha. Alot of unique flower. Oh , i remembered this flower. And i want. It to be at pur weddibg but its from japan. No smell but naiseee features ! Hehe. Theb we head to cloud forest. Save for tge last !!! My favourite place so far ! The water fall and the 'bridge'. Hahah. Then we webt homeee. Its an outing i love so much. Why ? Because of the time spent with baby. Heheh. Next , we planne to go cycling!! Hehe. Thank youuu bagy 😘😘😘😘😘😘



And baby , im sorry for the past arguments we have had. I am really sorry. I never wanted to argue with you. Never did. Why ? Like i said , its like a step closer to losibg you. Losin you as my man. As my babyboo. As the person i love so muchh. For all the arguments , im sorryfor hurting yourfeelings. I never wantto hurt you. Baby , im sorry too kayys for starting it. Heh. Sayang , i will try my best to put in more effort in our r/s. i promise. I swear. We will make this out togetger. Nobody can bring us down kayys. I love you so much baby. Mwaaaah ! ~ <3