- Dear diary.
Today, didnt had a great day. Anyway cut to the chase. I dont know why im doubting. But maybe because i realised all the small things she did. For example, she changing her password. Guess, she doesnt trust me anymore. Or maybe she doesnt care at all i guess? I hope not. Heh. I feel so bad, making her worried but the truth is, i cant go any further than this. Im so sick of her thinking about HIM, the memories, kononlaah. The gifts He gave to her. And best of all, sheela told me, adriana, yes, adriana bought her a necklace which i presume , she still kept till this day in her wallet as went home with her yesterday and i think i saw it. Or is it. Anyway been doubting eversince yesterday and today, lied to her i wasnt feeling well. Needed some time alone. But then the boys cheer me up and amar reassured me everythings gonna be alright. So yeah . Didnt think much of it till after school. What happened was that, i just ask her one simple question , and that was , where was she. That took her like forever to answer me, by changing the subject and also by counter asking me
Questions. And after all, i found out, she was in school. Okay uh. Frankly said, i dont bother either. But what hit me so hard on the face. was the fact she change her pw. She could at least told me she change it. Not like i would like what, be her dad, check her fb or what. If she tell me she change but neh tell me the pw, then i can tell you, im damn okay with it. But this one, krik krik. Its i found out, by MYSELF. God. I dont know what to do now uh. I dont know whether she do trust me anymore or she doesnt even bother.One thing led to another. Maybe im just being egoistic. But jealousy kills. Enoughsaid.
Im tired to hold on but too in love with her, to let go. I dont wanna lose her nor i wanna see her sad cause i have been causing problems everytime to her. God. Im useless, pathetic selffish boyfriend. I hope she sees this. I really wanna tell her, but whenever i meet her, i cant find the balls to do it cause i will end up crying i swear. Heh writing about this is already so hard for me to take. Trying to be strong, taking one truth at a time. But i dont think i cant hold it any longer. I feel like screaminh, cutting, punching and even banging my head on the wall. Gaaaaaah. Got to go. Have to wipe out the tears. Heh
Di sini kah, cinta kita berakhir?:'(
screw.yu| 06:18